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Tonight on Playboy Radio (4:40 Pacific / 7:40 Eastern) I’ll be talking with Debi Diamond and Nicki Hunter about Ramsey Karson’s 1977 classic, Desires Within Young Girls. (This is another casualty of 70s morals not syncing up with the morals of the early 21st century, as the film has been cut from it’s original running time of 103 minutes to 87 minutes due to some implications of how young the titular “young girls” really are… by way of example, you’ll note most series from the early 2000s all suddenly were branded as “College Girls…” instead of just “Girls…”)
The movie starts right off with a blowjob backlight by a fireplace as Madeline Stone (Georgina Spelvin) and her husband Charlie (a disguised-to-be-older John Leslie) are going at it. She narrates her sex in a rapid fire beat chick cadence yelling “Ride me! Ride me!”, and John over-exaggerates his southern accent. They got at it, and John starts wheezing, and he jokes that he’s getting old. She says that he’s not old judging by the evidence that she’s riding, and then shortly after he falls out of her, prompting the admonition: “Ah, look what you done. You broke the stride. Put my evidence back where it was…” as she remounts him…. when she finally cums, she leaps off and jerks him off, and we see cum flying in silhouette behind the fireplace… and then he dies, leaving Maddie to ponder her fate with a succinct “Oh, shit.” Smash cut to the credits.
The credits are rolled over a static shot of a limosuine which then drives to the Ballentine School for Girls where Maddie is picking up her step-daughters Cecelia (Annette Haven) and Penelope (Clair Dia). We get a shot of Cissy coquettishly smiling at Marty, the chauffeur (John Seeman). The girls are being brought home because their stepmother needs them to land a rich man so they can maintain their wealthy lifestyle.
We then cut to the girls in their rooms — Annette is looking at Playgirl, Clair is writing in her journal and talking on the phone, then Annette is trying on a variety of outfits; watching her not fit into a jumpsuit is one of life’s small pleasures. Then the girls apply their makeup with the score bouncing back and forth between two themes, one for each girl.
Cut to Georgina on the phone: “Mark, be careful with Cissy, she’s prone toward puppy love… that wasn’t funny, Mark. You can leave your sense of humor home, with your cocker spaniel.”
We’re supposed to get a scene with Annette Haven and John Seeman who plays the chauffeur, but the scene was cut from the modern DVD release, likely for the implications of the scene that she’s underage with an older man. But the entire sequence is cut out and we don’t really miss it in the narrative scheme of things.
Next up is John Leslie as Mark (NOT playing Georgina’s husband) teaching Penelope (Clair Dia) about how to seduce a man. This scene is classic John Leslie. All cool and charming, he has Clair undress him, making sure to have her spend time playing with his chest hair and his nipples. He returns the favor, spending quite some time on her breasts before having her remove his pants. This is a pretty languid scene with lots of kissing. He works his way down her body, spending more time on her nipples (like little erasers they are!) and spends some time orally pleasing her. (It should be noted the print this transfer came from is pretty badly damaged with surface noise, but it does not affect the hotness of the scene.)
Finally they get down to the fucking, and he mounts her in missionary, and there’s still a lot of kissing going on, and then he ever so easily sits her up and do a little sitting cowgirl before he lies down for the full ride-on. He flips her back around onto her side and he goes at it side-saddle for a few strokes before finishing with the doggie. The sex cuts around at this point, some cocksucking, some fucking, she’s on top, he’s on top and it finally ends with the patented John Leslie pull out and just cum, even tho Clair lends a helping hand a little which he then guides her hand, to finish her lesson.
Mom sends the two girls to a wealthy rancher’s spread to try to seduce his son (Jason, but he prefers Jace) in the hopes of landing him and ensuring their continued financial stability. Annette is dressed like a farmer’s daughter in a gingham top that can barely contain her breasts and cut-offs.
The rancher (Chesley Noone) is admonishing his son (Ray Wells) to treat the girls right lest he be sent off to agricultural college in the city. When Annette steps out of the car, there are harps and rainbows surround the boy. No sooner do they walk around back that they’re tearing at each other, and they end up in the stables. He flatters her figure, saying “You’re build like a heifer in heat!” which makes her giggle. He struggles to get her top off, and as soon as he does, he’s all over her tits. She has an equally hard time trying to get his cock out of his pants, but finally works the button fly free so she can start sucking, while there’s fiddle and banjo playing on the soundtrack, and horses look on curiously. Doesn’t take long for Jace to mount her doggie style (horsey style?) forcing her into the hay which causes her hay fever to flare up and she starts sneezing after while which must get him going because he starts getting ready to cum and saying things like “I’m going to put my number on you!” and then finally exclaiming “Yippee!”
This is a pretty funny scene. Not a lot going on sexually (brief cocksucking, one position) but what is there is spirited, and we get to spend most of our time looking at Annette’s fine fine ass. (Tho, all I could think about was how much that hay probably poked at her belly.)
As they cuddle post-coitus, he lays out their great life… her getting up at 5 to milk the cows, having a bunch of kids, every Sunday having the whole family over for fried chicken that they’ll cook themselves… “we’ll slaughter them ourselves! It’s easy! I’ll teach ya! You just grab em by the neck…”" and Annette screams and runs away, thus ending their hopes with the cattlemen.
Next up, they attend a high-class party — on the steps Georgina lays it out “Girls, don’t forget. We’re here to get a proposal or pregnant or ELSE.”
As they approach, our eyepatch clad host, Harrison (Frank Hollowell), is told:
“Harrison, it looks like your final guests are coming…”
“Baroness, before the night is over, ALL my guests will be cumming.”
The Baroness (Joan Devlon) and Maddie have their claws out upon introductions:
Harrison: Maddie used to be quite a game player –
Baroness: Before my time, I’m sure.
Maddie: Oh Baroness, I’m sure nothing was before your time…
ZING!
Maddie introduces the girls to Charles Dancer the Third (Turk Lyon), and they blush and run off to the powder room. Maddie explains that there are some games to be played, and they should just follow the instructions on the cards they’ll be given.
“Darling, there’s no more sincere compliment in the world than a hard-on … I know he’s insufferable, but he’s rich Rich RICH! The rich only get richer, and its the obligation of the poor to do something about it! You have no idea baout poverty. Poor people have a very unattractive odor and bad teeth. ”
There’s a little scene between Marty and Cissy, where they smoke a little pot, but nothing comes of it beyond Annette looking divine.
There’s some small talk around the dinner table which culminates in discussion of The Game, and its goal: “Knowing and showing that he or she is the most versatile sexual athlete in this gathering of renowned superstars…” There are two games, and you have to win both… Maddie bets Harrison she can predict the winner, if so, he’ll pay her $5,000, if not, she has to have a candlelight dinner with an old friend…
The first card we see reads: “You are a ravishing lesbian. Ravish and enjoy.”
So the Barroness and the Fashion Model (Bonnie Holiday) go at it. (“I’ve never made it with royalty before!” / “I’ve never been with a fashion model before!”) and we cut back to Harrison and Maddie watching the action on a closed-circuit TV.
The scene cuts back and forth from the room to the TV and back. Bonnie eats out Joan, as Joan grips the headboard in delight. It’s a pretty short scene, only about two minutes. The model hands another card to the Baroness who reads it: “Your next encounter awaits behind the door. YOUR turn to be ravished!” Enter the black butler who pulls out his flaccid cock and as she sees it, she yells “Oh god, no way! Dammit, Harrison! You motherfucker!”
Cut to Maddie watching the Baroness on TV, saying to Harrison “All class, that one.”
“You know Maddie, if I hadn’t rigged this game, I would have thought you had…” and he presses another button on the cable box (standing in for a remote) and we see another card:
“You have strong sadistic tendencies. Within this room, someone will provide you pleasure in this area.”
We enter the room and see Cissy chained naked but for a garter belt against a stone wall in a room feeling queasy after the dinner. (Goddamn does she look great.) The General is desperate to use some clamps on her, but she just wants Alka-Seltzer. She cockblocks the General at every turn, she’s not having any of it; she just gives him mouth, and he almost breaks down and cries…. so she just masturbates and has the quickest orgasm on record… knocking The General out of the game. An entertaining scene, if only for Annette’s insolence and disinterest.
Next room has Jon Martin as a shy fella who walks in on Abigail Clayton and Stacy Evans dressed in old-timey undergarments, and Abby is pushing a cloth up inside herself and has him pull it out with his mouth as Stacy undresses him and he moves on to full blown cunnilingus and then Stacy moves on to fellatio. Stacy throws him onto the bed, wriggles out of her panties and climbs next to him as Abby pulls her stockings off and gets in bed with them. She starts kissing down his legs and sucking on his toes as Stacy pays attention to his nipples and then they meet at his soft cock, which has the cloth wrapped around it. They suck him off to get him hard, then Abby climbs on as he eats out Stacy. He flips Abby over and starts fucking her as Stacy licks her tits. Finally he takes Stacy doggie style as she sucks on her thumb and briefly thereafter launches a slo-mo Peter North-esque blast across her back.
Then Dominique (Sabrina) comes in and puts her high heel right into Jon’s cock, and he wants to go home, so he loses the game…
Next, Harrison hits a button and we see Charles and Penelope on a water bed, and after some horrible pillow talk, and as he starts sucking her tit, she asks him to “be careful of the lump… even tho I’m sure its not cancerous” which isn’t as much of as turn off as you might thin; but she continues to make up ailments until he finally stops. (“It’s down! It hasn’t been down since I was eight!“) Enter Cissy and she gets him hard again (“My God! It came back to life!”) and we cut immediately to her sucking him off and him covering her in kisses ended up with him eating her out. She rides him reverse cowgirl and on the last stroke lifts herself off him and jerks him off onto her belly. It’s an amazingly hot end to a short-ish scene. ”I may have blown the game with your sister, but at least this was really hot!… wasn’t it?”
Tonight on Playboy Radio (7:40 Eastern, 4:40 Pacific), we’re talking about the 1979 movie, 800 Fantasy Lane, the first film from director Svetlana.
The movie feels like a bunch of different mainstream 80s “teenage tit movies” where a couple of normal guys pull off some sort of scam in order to see naked girls… and in this case, fuck them.
In our case, our heroes, Jamie Gillis and Bud Wise, are gas station attendants who read in the paper that there’s a real estate agency in Los Angeles who is hiring actresses as brokers and they are will to do anything — ANYTHING! — to close the deal. So Jamie calls the number, posing as an oil magnate from Ohio (where all the American oil reserves are, of course!) who wants to buy a house. They fly Bud and him out to the coast and take them around to see some properties.
But first, they go to the lodge where prospective clients are staying, and here, Jamie and Bud stumble upon two of the agents getting it on…
Scene 1 between Serena and Desiree Cousteau was notable for having some fisting in it — Desiree fists Serena — but that’s been cut in modern versions of the movie.. however, the g/g scene that remains is still pretty good, and is often interrupted by cutaways to Jamie and Bud over-reacting and mugging at their good fortune.
Lisa De Leeuw is a real estate agent who wants to ger her hooks into the new meat, so she sidles up to Jamie and blows him. Scene 2 ends in a pretty modern way with Jamie cumming all over Lisa’s tits and chin and then scooping up all the semen he can and feeding it to her.
Not to be outdone, Nancy Suiter and Aubrey Nichols take Jamie and Bud out to look at some properties. However, Jamie has an idea and throws Bud out of the car, so he can have the two gals to himself.
So begins Scene 3, where Jamie is blown by Nancy and Aubrey. The scene is marred a bit by constant cutaways to Jamie’s “I’m getting blown!” face, even tho I think most of us would rather see the girls actually blow him. He’s finally interrupted as Bud who finally makes it to the house with information designed solely to cockblock Jamie’s tryst with Nancy and Aubrey. Selling the oil magnate story a little heavily and mentioning something about the SEC, Bud pulls Jamie aside and then locks him in a room, allowing him to come back to finish the scene with the two lovelies, eventually cumming on Nancy’s tits and then fucking Aubrey while Nancy sits on his face and the two girls make out.
Then it starts to get weird… what was a nice little sex comedy takes a turn for the darker in Scene 4 when Jamie goes downstairs in the lodge to find a full S&M dungeon, with Serena and Hillary Summers tied together by the ankles in matching in love swings while Chris Anderson acts as the dominatrix. There’s quite a bit of screaming and the sound of a lot of slapping, tho we don’t really see the source of the slaps. This scene’s more S&M-y elements are another casualty of the editor’s delete key for the DVD release.
Jamie jumps into the action, eating Serena out and then holding a lighter to it… there’s a level of trust here that can only come from performers who are totally in tune with one another, and Jamie and Serena certainly were. After making out with Serena a bit, Jamie throws himself between the two girls and alternates eating them out. After a while Chris straps on a dildo and animalistically fucks Serena while she shrieks in what doesn’t really pass as ecstasy. Jamie then whips his out, flips Hillary over in the swing and then fucks her silly, eventually cumming on her and dumping her on the floor. Then he turns his attention to Serena and fucks her, using the strap around her throat (or was it her throat?) as leverage. None of this reads as particularly fun, but it is certainly a textbook example of domination and submission.
After his time with the swings, he finds his way over to Desiree Cousteau who is just lying down. He eats and then fucks her while Chris fondles Desiree’s breasts. He steps aside to let Chris take a turn with her strap on while Desiree blows him. Finally, he goes back over to a still-crumpled-on-the-floor Hillary and cums on her from above, concluding her degradation. (There is an odd cut here, so I suspect some other material hit the recycle bin as this was being re-mastered for DVD. I have a VHS of this around somewhere, I think… but no time to do a proper comparison…)
Wow. Heavy stuff. Not for everyone, I suspect.
Bud comes back with the girls from the house showing just as Jamie emerges from the cellar. They head out to the pool where Bud starts making out with Lisa’s tits and Jamie overhears a discussion between Allen Colberg and Chris Anderson where he says he wants to give her 500K of “undeclared income” for a deposit on the same house that Jamie and Bud are looking at. He doesn’t want to lose the house to them, especially since no one really knows what oil interests they have. All the while, he’s got his tits in her hand as she’s bouncing up and down on his clothed lap. Did I mention they’re both wearing Mickey Mouse ears and he’s whooping “Ride ‘em Cowboy!” and like someone riding cowboy? That little bit of non-sex hanky panky was Scene 5.
The next afternoon, a Friday, the boys are at the real estate office about to sign on the line that is dotted when Bud starts to panic, telling Jamie that they’re sure to be found out after the agents run a credit check. Jamie says thru gritted teeth “Listen asshole, I know what I’m doing. It’s 5:00 on the east coast, and they won’t find out anything until Monday.” He then hands Chris the signed paper work and slips her the tongue before he leaves… Allen calls in and offers to make some calls about Jamie and Bud since they put in an offer and he has to get on his way on Saturday, so he’d like to know if the lost the house or not.
Bud goes to play tennis with Lisa DeLeeuw and two other girls (Debi Gunter and Wendy O. Williams (of the Plasmatics, with long flowing brown hair and zero tennis skills) which gives us a lot of opportunities to see bouncing breasts in slow motion. Lisa and Debi have particularly great racks. Wendy shows her bush, and all three girls moon Bud. At the end of the match Lisa lactates on Bud (in what I assume is a special effect, as we don’t see the nipple).
Jamie, meanwhile, is enjoying himself in a hot tub with just about everyone else in the movie. (Scene 7) Meanwhile, Bud bangs Desiree and Scene 8 ends with Desiree blowing Bud until he shoots a sizable load all over her face.
Then the movie takes another stylistic left turn as everyone plays pool ad smokes pot, but Jamie starts hallucinating… for this, I’ll quote three reviews:
Here is where a straight forward script takes a turn that makes no fucking sense. Everyone is playing pool and smoking a little pot. The guys end up having these fucked up hallucinations that include an eight foot penis raining milk down on naked chicks and Gillis playing lion tamer in a sexual circus. He is in a cage with Serena, Lisa and Aubrey Nichols who all have on body make up to represent a pony, leopard and tiger respectively. Interesting role play I suppose and some decent sex, but the out of left field motivation for this scene (Like the dungeon bang) just makes no sense. Lisa looks good, but Aubrey manages to steal most of the sexual thunder in this odd, final scene.
The group frees the weed while playing pool during the next scene. This scene may not be one of the sexiest in the movie, but it’s definitely one of the most memorable and needs to be seen. This sequence alone is worth the rental price of the DVD. The camera work really helps out this scene. It has kind of a dizzy feel that adds to the dreamlike nature of much of the scene. Jamie has a dream in the scene where he’s in a cage as a lion tamer complete with whip with Serena, Lisa DeLeeuw, and another girl done up as a lion, cheetah, and a horse. Jamie makes his way through each of the women, taming them as he goes. It’s very sexy and shows a creativity that’s rarely seen in today’s porn.
Chris Anderson, Aubrey Nichols, Serena and Bud Wise: After smoking some weed, Jamie and Bud hallucinate. This must be really special stuff, as the boys have some pretty vivid visions. Bud imagines himself with a crude six foot long papier-mâché dick, ejaculating a fountain of skim milk while Chris, Aubrey and Serena dance around his maypole, bathing in his manly flow. A non-sex scene, but still hot, in a strange kind of way.
Jamie imagines himself an animal tamer in a circus, taming a tiger (Aubrey), a leopard (Chris) and a pony? (Serena). Jamie “tames” each of the girls in turn, and instead of the old stick your head in the lion’s mouth trick, he does the dick in the tiger’s mouth trick. Pretty cheap makeup on the girls, as it rubs off all over Jamie as the scene progresses. Still, they’re definitely trying. It’s a lot more interesting than anything you’ll see in American porn today. Jamie ends the scene by cumming on Serena’s face.
Finally, the plot wraps up with Jamie stealing the half a million from Allen (who can’t report it to the police since it’s “undeclared income”) and absconding with the girls too. All’s well that ends well.
Another year another AVN convention. Except this time it was at new venue, the Hard Rock Hotel, that seemed more appropriate and receptive to hosting porn stars. The physical layout was at first confusing with multiple halls around the hotel. The number of exhibitors seemed to be about the same, the number of people that attended seemed to be about the same, but the physical space shrank making this the most cramped porn convention I’ve ever been to. Thursday was especially bad when they let the fans in even though they would not open up the fan hall until Friday.
Due to the crowds I was much more selective this year in choosing who to shoot concentrating on people that I like or people that I found attractive, which are sometimes mutually exclusive. I also didn’t bother with anyone where I couldn’t get through the hordes of crowds like the girls at the Wicked booth. The most popular people this year seemed to be the celebrities, Bree Olson and Ron Jeremy, and Jynx Maze was the most popular besides those two.
I decided to shoot my first AVN Awards since 2009. I was asked to do it as a favour for another photographer and I would only agree if I didn’t have to do the red carpet. So I was given ability to roam around and pull random people that I liked to set up one or two shots instead of doing the usual pornorazzi machine gun fire. Pictures seemed to come out better that way. I was happy to see Bobbi Starr, one of my favourite people, win Female Performer of the Year and was pleased to see Brooklyn Lee win Best New Starlet since she was so nice and sweet to her fans upon meeting them for the first time at the convention.
So of course the reason I go to these events year after year is to be able to see my friends again. Whether it’s my crew at IAFD, Mark Spiegler and the Spieglergirls, or the guys of adultdvdtalk.com, I always have a great time with them especially with the social lubricant known as alcohol.
Some highlights (or lowlights depending on your perspective):
Bonding with Ela Darling and being introduced to the concept of wizard rock.
Arguing with my friend, Malte, that it’s classier to put Missy Rhodes on top of the toilet rather than on the toilet seat.
Crashing this awesome penthouse suite because the bartender there thought Malte would make a good gay guy for one of her friends. #takeonefortheteam
Having April O’Neil guest star on my tumblr. There is something nerdy fierce in her sexuality in such a little package.
Having Chyna threaten us in an elevator for some unperceivable slight. I kept my mouth shut since I don’t argue with people that have guns bigger than the size of my head.
We’re on Night Calls tonight, ONE HOUR EARLIER than usual because I am otherwise engaged at our normal time, so listen in at 6:40 pm Eastern / 3:40 pm Pacific.
The story, such as it is, concerns Roscoe (Tony Martino) and his rubber rat friend Mr. Bob (voiced by Johnny Jump-Up, aka Antonio Passolini) and their quest to find Madame Mambo’s House of Fella-tee-o, with the help of a pimp named Jamal (Jack Baker).
Here’s the first five minutes of the movie, which sets the tone and really underlines the low-rent nature and crazy style of the vid.
Two scenes in the movie are absolutely top notch — one stars Erica Boyer in a blistering B/B/G and the other is Christy Canyon and Peter North. They’re worth the price of admission alone. In a review I wrote back in the 90s, I said:
Erica Boyer is looking her punkish best. She’s well toned, bush is a little trimmed back, and she’s laying on a couch covered in black garbage bag plastic in a room that is walled in with the same plastic.
She masturbates slowly, playing with her pussy and asshole, working a finger or two into each now and then. Then Steve Powers shows up and she starts chomping his choad. He shoves her sunglasses into her snatch and starts pouting champange all over her.
Enter Marc Wallice who covers her in corn oil (I don’t think sunflower oil was all the rage until the later 80s/early 90s :-) )
She gets flipped onto her stomach and Marc then works some fingers into her ass, and follows that with his banana dick. He fucks her ass with reckless abandon. Then Steve Powers enters her pussy (as some creme oozes from her ass). She is toally slicked up from shoulders to toes. Marc spanks her. “My asshole wants you!” she screams to Marc who obliges for a DP. What makes this DP something to see is both guys are pretty active, and she rides it out like a true slut; unlike most DPs in recent memories where one guy sits still while the other guy does all the work. Erica gets into this scene very much, screaming and yelling in rapturous delight, which we share in. Marc cums on her ass, and Steve cums on himself more or less.
If you don’t pop a chubby watching this scene, then check your pulse, you may be dead.
And then a sentence that really sums up the Dark Brothers’ aesthetic:
Mr. Bob talks to Erica’s asshole which quacks like a duck and they continue their quest for Madame Mambo.
About the Christy Canyon scene, I wrote:
In this scene, [Christy] dominates Peter North, who is chained to a table wearing a collar like they put on dogs to keep them from biting at their wounds. She is wearing studded gloves and a bustier number. Her eye makeup is 80s “punk” and she sucks cock like no one else.
She teases Peter, hitting him about the face and head with her tits (when they were quite a bit firmer, but just as ripe). “What, you afraid of big tits! Suck ‘em! You’re such a baby!” she yells at Peter. “Probably reminds you of when you were a little boy — sucking on mommmy’s tits, before you went to your room…” She removes the collar and really starts to beat him up with those wonderful breasts.
She plays with her cat o’ nine tails rubbing them over her tits and her pussy. Then there is an abrupt cut (was something snipped here?) and she’s riding him reverse cowgirl; arguably looking better than she ever has before. She engages in some dirty talk. She takes an active role and grunts and groans. They move into the patented Peter North Spoon, giving us a great view of Christy’s meaty lips wrapping around Peter’s peter.
They go around to a doggie position for a while, and then to a missionary where Peter launches a load that hits her in the forehead, then covers her tits and belly with his jizz. And then she goes in and orally cleans him up afterwards.
If you haven’t got a boner by this point, turn the movie off, there’s no hope.
Like all 80s Dark Brothers’ flicks, the theme song (also contributed by Johnny Jump-Up / Passolini) is top notch and one that I can still sing it today. It name checks their recent movies before leading into its chorus: “Now you know New Wave Hookers, and Let Me Tell Ya Bout White Chicks, but now you’ll see some black chicks, sucking on some white dicks! BLACK THROAT!”
Due to my travel schedule, I can’t be on Night Calls this week, so instead I’m stopping by Sex Circus with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn (be still my heart!) on SiriusXM Spice Radio 103 at around 12:40 Pacific Time. We’ll be doing a Legends of Porn trivia game — play along!
A taste:
“Which Lynn is not in the AVN Hall of Fame?”
and / or
“The Traci Lords Scandal affected a lot of movies which had to be re-edited; but at least two were actually reshot and re-released with another actress playing traci’s part. Name the movies and the actresses who took over the role.”
A bunch of us editors get together in January to walk around the Adult Entertainment Expo, and this year is no different.
As in year’s past, we’re taking the corrections queue off line until we get back, so we’re not inundated when we get back, and to allow the editors who can’t join us to take a little break and do a little catch up.
Today is also the Internet Blackout to Protest SOPA/PIPA. We’re big supporters of this protest, but sadly, not as big as we’d like. We’ve blacked out the blog for the day, but, like Facebook and Twitter, we can’t take the main site off-line, but we have added a badge to the site to show our solidarity.
If you’re at AEE and see us walking around in our shirts (the only way to recognize us), please stop us and say hello. Also, I’ll be on Playboy Radio, Thursday at 12:40ish (not sure what booth they’re going to be set up in yet) with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn playing “Legends of Porn Trivia” (submit your questions on twitter: @iafdcom
We started off talking about awards season and how we’ve been entering a bunch of awards data behind the scenes and we’re getting ready to unleash the data onto the world. It’ll happen sometime in February, I reckon… but that data is what currently feeds the awards blog postings, so you’re getting the fruits of our labors a little bit anyway.
Then we spoke about the movie. The movie is a pretty funny send-up of biography documentaries, and the invented backstory of Vanessa’s life is pretty funny courtesy of a script by Antonio Passolini (writing as Johnny Jump-Up). In a nutshell, Vanessa was born to a black mother (in case you were worried about Dark’s racial sensitivity, she’s played by a man in blackface) in communist Russia. She escaped by fucking Marc Wallice and Lois Ayres and ended up in Paris, where she learned the ways of the crotch from Erica Boyer (who let her watch her get double teamed by Tom Byron and Marc Wallice — great scene; Erica ends up slick with sweat at the end of it). From there, Vanessa becomes a door-to-door dildo saleswoman, and she plies her wares to housewife Liz Randall, and they have a pretty great toy-laden lezfest. (It doesn’t hurt that Liz looks like a cute-as-a-button mid-80s Jenna Fischer.) Vanessa’s journey takes her to Paraguay, where she starts to work her way into adult films, having sex with underrated scrumpet Krista Lane and Francois Papillion, eventually culminating in a gangbang with Marc Wallice, Peter North, Steve Powers, Tom Byron and Troy Tannier.
The whole movie is infused with a goofy, bad taste take on things; so if that sounds like it’s for you — you should check this out as its available from all of the leading VOD retailers, as well as on DVD.
But perhaps the greatest thing about the movie is its theme song (also by Johnny Jump-Up). There’s a crummy dub of it over on YouTube, but it’s the best we got right now…
@BlackSexxxology: @iafdcom Can you let me know who retired or was no longer active in 2011? Thanks!
To paraphrase critic Bill Caits, “the only porn stars who officially have retired are dead.”
That said, we can look at the last year of someone’s “years active” field and make a semi-educated guess as to who is no longer active, but it is an inexact science since the years active field is not always a reliable indicator.
(Currently, we track the year that a movie is released, not the year it is produced. There may be a large gap between the two. Some studios (cough, Vivid, cough) will sit on titles for a year or more in order to keep new product in the pipeline long after a popular performer has left the set, as it were.)
The problem with @BlackSexxxology‘s request is the info is too soon… 2011 was two weeks ago. We have no idea who decided to quit porn and move home on New Year’s Eve… the only thing we can ask the database is ”who didn’t release any movies after 2011?” and we don’t know that yet. Won’t know it for 6 months or so. The answers it will spit back are far too numerous to draw any conclusions from.
But, we do know it (or can guesstimate it) for years prior to 2011, so we added a new section to our advanced search page which will allow you to look up the performers who have stopped releasing movies in any given year.
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