- 19 Jun 2013
- Today on Radio Sex: Babyface 2 (1986)
Posted by vanzetti
Today around 2:40 Eastern on Radio Sex’s You Porn show (SiriusXM 102), I’ll be talking about Alex DeRenzy‘s 1986 movie, Baby Face 2 which is a sequel in name only (mostly) to his classic 1977 classic Baby Face. (Again, many thanks to Mark Murray’s blog, Adventures in the Gutter, for the inspiration.) (The Gore-Gore Girl also has a good recap of this movie with vidcaps.)
The movie opens with Candie Evens sunning herself and telling us the story of the last summer. Seems some crazy things happened in town. One of the girls they know was alleged to have a stroke, but Candie doesn’t think so, since Marc told her what really happened, and now she’s going to tell us. (The porno version of The Cars’ hit MAGIC off Heartbeat City is a classic)
(Side note: virtually all character names share first names with their actors, so it makes ID’ing things simpler. But who is Lori?)
It all started when cheerleaders Lynn Franciss and Lois Ayres were down by the racetrack waiting for Lois’ boyfriend Kevin James to show up. They’re looking forward to Careena Collins‘ bachelorette party later that night.
Lois jumps into his white Trans Am ad they go for a ride down to the marina. While in the parking lot, she takes Kevin’s cock out f his pants and starts jerking it, but she’s worried they’ll be seen so they head for an abandoned shed, but not before she asks “Kevin, why don’t you buy me a boat?” in just an awesome teasing/playful way. They find their way into the shed — and it has a mattress in it! How lucky someone else has had the same idea about the shed! — and Lois gets right to it, and Kevin giggles “You’re so eager!” as she’s diving for his pants. She complains that she doesn’t have time, and they strip down. Kevin asks “OK, so do you want to do me, or should I do you?” and she giggles, say she’ll do him and eats him. It’s a pretty standard fuck and suck, but what’s so great about it is their interactions, the little asides and glaces and moans — “How you doin?” he asks her and she smiles wide like a girl getting banged “I’m fine. You?” There’s kissing and doggie style sex (standing and kneeling) which ends with him cumming on her ass and her bitching about him getting her all sticky since she has places to be and how’s he going to clean it up? He uses his sock and laments that she gets upset if he cums inside her too. ”I don’t want to get pregnant!” Damned if you, Kevin… some fun banter closes out the scene.
Cut to Lori’s house, and her mom and dad are getting ready to leave to fetch grandma as the girls – Lynn Franciss, Stacey Donovan, Taija Rae and Lois Ayres – show up. As the folks get in the car, Mom mentions that Grandma has had “one of her spells for ages!”
Taija and Stacy try on lingerie and run down to join the other girls as Kristara Barrington is hawking sex toys.
Back to Candie telling us she had no idea the party was a sex party! And that the boys were surprised too… she remembers the day well…
Kevin’s Trans Am pulls up and he, Tom Byron and Marc Wallice jump out, trying to figure out what to do since the girls are all busy that night. Candie Evens and Melissa Melendez approach, and Kevin sugests they all go sit in a hot tub and drink beer. Marc begs off and the girls jump into the Trans Am with Kevin and Tom and take off.
Back at the house, Lois is sampling the Hitachi Magic Wand and gets busted by her friends who rush to taste the edible panties. (Which reminds me of a great joke from Eating Raoul: “Le Orgy Gel comes in lemon, mint, cherry or trail mix…”) and the girls play around with the sex toys, but nothing explicit, just goofing around. Careena helps Lois with the Wand.
At the hot tub, Melissa hooks up with Kevin and Candie hooks up with Tom. We’re 20 minutes in and it’s the second sex scene only. Kevin and Melissa go off and he fingers her quite a bit The Tom/Candy doggie bang pairing is a classic and appears in a bunch of comps. (The Kevin/Melissa pairing is kind of forgotten about. Boo.)
Back in the house, night has fallen and the party is getting ready to get started. The girls are all in lingerie and Marc Wallice is creeping outside. He’s discovered by Lynn and shoo’d away. (We find out that Careena is marrying Jerry Butler.) A giant cake is rolled in and an unshaven, beer-swilling, cigar-chomping stripper in the guise of Jamie Gillis pops out. Well, he doesn’t really pop out as he’s half-asleep. (Cue the sad trumpets.) Kristara is pissed at Jamie’s appearance and demands “a proper show.” He prances around and the girls don’t know what to make of it. It’s pretty funny stuff. (It’s about 34 minutes in.)
For making fun of his dancing, Jamie casts a spell on the girls in the name of Aphrodite and after much wind and strobe lights, the girls are all masturbating furiously and Careena goes right for Jamie’s cock as Lynn hungrily devours Marc. Stacey and Taija pair off, leaving Lois and Kristara to pleasure themselves. (Hello Scenes 4-8) It’s a pretty energetic set of pairings with some good angles (and some weird ones) and “new wave” music and wind noises drowning out any live sound.
The scenes more or less end and we’re panning over Candie’s tanned body and she tells us that Marc left and told all the guys about the sex crazed sluts the girls all turned into. They guys all go to Lori’s house and they’re overtaken by lust, and when Taija starts to suck Jerry, Careena tells her she can have him. Sharing is fundamental!
Kevin and Marc stumble upon Lois and Kristara masturbating, and before he can say “Lois, what are you doing here?!” Lois has grabbed Marc and Kristara has grabbed Kevin.
Taija and Jerry have a great doggie romp as the live sound is brought back into the mix along with the music and the cumshots begin — Kristara jerks Kevin off onto her face; Lois jerks Marc off onto her face, Jerry jerks off on to Taijia’s ass as Tom Byron walks by causing Taija to go chasing after him, leaving Jerry holding his dick. The guys can’t take all the action because the girls are still insatiable.
Tom escapes into a closet, but Taija in a half-undone corset finds him (and her tits look spectacular) and she talks him through eating her out. They bang.
Lynn finds Dick Rambone and his baby’s arm of a dick and goes to town on it.
Stacey Donovan has her way with Francois, and for a girl who made a career out of being disinterested and boring, DeRenzy coaxes a decent sexual performance out of her. He cums on her belly as she runs off. He doesn’t understand their need for always more cock. A.B.C. A – Always. B – Blow. C- Cock.
Mom and Dad come home with Grandma - Marion Eaton who starred in the first Baby Face – and he just wants some quiet and some rest; but she is overcome by the bacchanlia she’s witnessing and suddenly she’s whipping out cellophane and acting crazy (a callback to the first movie where they bound Dan Roberts in Saran Wrap). The party is broken up. Careena is yelling for “Jerry, get your hands off Lori!” and it looks like he’s grabbing Lynn, so is she Lori? But Candie calls her Lynn at the beginning of the movie… is Lori the MacGuffin of the movie?
And Candie wraps things up telling us that Careena isn’t marrying Jerry, but has been hanging out with some older guy who smokes cigars and gets off to Hustler Magazines.
This is a non-stop sex ride of a movie. It starts conventionally with the Kevin/Lois pairing and then the Tom/Candie pairing, and then it goes off the rails with just non-stop sex. There’s an energy to the second half of the movie that is really great. Hard to pick a favorite pairing, but I’m a sucker for Taija Rae and Lois Ayres, so they were standouts, as was the Tom/Candie scene.
Out of 10, we go with 9, I suppose. (I hate ratings.)
- 12 Jun 2013
- Today on Radio Sex: Outlaw Ladies (1981)
Posted by vanzetti
“For Fearless Men and Ambitious Women!”
Today on Radio Sex’ YouPorn on XM 102 around 2:40, I’ll be talking about Outlaw Ladies, Henri Pachard‘s vignette movie from 1981.
A tip o’ the hat to Mark Murray’s blog Adventures in the Gutter, for inspiring today’s choice (and providing the poster I glommed for the article).
I haven’t seen Outlaw Ladies in forever, and it popped up on Mark’s blog, so I figured I’d revisit. I’m glad I did.
We open with Marlene Willoughby getting herself beautiful, only to have R. Bolla throw a brief hump into her under the covers. She’s unfulfilled, and an archetype for the movie — the rich and bored wives of the rich and straying husbands.
Bobby Astyr lets Juliet Anderson know he’s going to be working late, which is great for her so she can set up a tryst between herself and Ron Hudd, with an assist from Jody Maxwell. Juliet explains to Jody that she wants to use the new vibrator today, so when she gives the word, Jody should apply it.
Ron gets out of the shower and Juliet directs the sex like a pro. All dirty talk and telling him what she needs him to do (“Don’t pull my head; just hold your cock so you don’t shoot too soon…“) while she blows him, then she rides him and has Jody (clothed throughout) shove the vibrator up her bum which brings Juliet to orgasm and then she leaps off Ron and jerks him off onto her face.
We get an interlude which will set up later scenes – artist John Leslie is sketching a portrait of Samantha Fox and husband Al Greenbach (according to the credits), but she gets called away.
Next, we see Marlene Willoughby as a high-fashion model (by day!) being photographed by Henri Pachard and Josh Andrews and then we cut to her in a bubble bath which seems to be how she transforms to high-class callgirl by night. Bobby Astyr shows up at Marlene’s apartment (complete with African-American Maid,played by Jolet Kodet!) and she starts things off by eating his ass for a little before blowing him then riding him cowgirl. She has panties sticking out of her netherbits which she flutters across Bobby’s cock before wrapping the panties around his cock as she kneels down to suck him to completion. She then wipes him up using them and offering them as a souvenir. He’s not sure what to do with them.
Veronica Hart busts into to R. Bolla‘s office exclaiming “Not guilty! That little Puerto Rican is now free! I got him free.” and they argue about the billing status of the case. He calls in Merle Michaels, his secretary, and reads her the riot act for not sending the bill to court with Veronica. She apologizes and leaves. Veronica is all fired up and wants to get back to work on a murder appeal for another client. She eschews an offer of dinner with “Harry” to work late. She calls Harry to tell him she’s working late and asks him to fix his own dinner… her desire to work on the murder appeal is quickly forgotten as she calls John Leslie to get together at the office. Slight awkwardness as she’s chastised by the cleaning lady (Cami Graham) for working so hard, and then she gets caught leading John back to her office and by R. Bolla and Merle who are leaving together.
Veronica asks John to “put it up her backside” tonight. He asks if she’s ever done it, she says no, so John explains that prep is necessary. That she keeps calling it “her backside” is funny. She’s bent over her desk and he goes straight to the A. Eventually, she relents and calls it “her ass” and as the phone rings – her husband asking where food is kept — John cums all over her ass. She’s upset because she wanted him to cum inside, but she “tightened up and pushed [him] out.” This scene is a little dark with Veronica’s face in a bit of shadow.
Also of note, a chorus singing “OUTLAW LA-DIES!” between each scene.
Merle and R. Bolla are at her apartment enjoying some jug wine when her mom calls. They go back to making out post-call and we briefly cut to Samantha Fox driving down 42nd Street, eyeing Show World (in its former glory). Back to Merle and R. he eats her out a bit, then she sucks him off and they fuck in missionary; but she gets very anxious that he not cum inside her, so she offers to suck him off and she jerks him off between her breasts and cleans him off. What’s nice is, up until this point, the guys (except for John Leslie, and his was done for dramatic purposes) aren’t jacking themselves off.
We cut to a dive bar where Joey Silvera is drinking beers with Debbie Revenge and others (Geri Avant, Margo Dumont) while Jody Maxwell looks on. Samantha Fox walks in as it caught off-guard by Jody’s presence. Joey leads the two socialites upstairs to a small apartment where the most prominent feature is the bed. the two girls take turns servicing Joey and the dialog is pretty tawdry, with Samanatha and Jody asking Joey about fucking the “girl downstairs” and commenting that they can taste her pussy on his dick. They fuck him and finally he cums in Jody’s mouth as Samantha jerks him off, but they cut around the ejaculation, and it’s pretty dark, so there’s some reliance on your imagination…
Finally, the movie spends its last 10 minutes wrapping up the Merle Michaels character. Long story short, Merle wants something more from R. Bolla, who says nix since they work together and she should be able to go out and meet some young people. It’s perhaps the nicest brush-off on record. He returns home to Marlene, shares the good news about the not guilty verdict, but his wife is aware something is up. Back at the office, he asks Veronica to fire Merle. Back in Merle’s apartment, she’s moping around and the phone rings, and it’s John Leslie (not her mother!) and he wants to go out, but she asks him to come over instead. He says he’ll pick up some food and wine and he’ll be by. Back in R. Bolla’s house, the phone rings and Merle gives her the message “Instead of fucking my tits, he should fuck your tits… and if he can’t fuck your tits, then he should fuck HIMSELF!”
The thing that lifts this movie is the chemistry the performers have. They’re all pros and they can all act, and it goes a long way to keeping things believable. The final line is delivered believably, when in lesser hands it could have been painful. The establishing scenes are all sensible and give the following sex acts some context.
This is an easy movie to watch, the sex scenes aren’t soul-crushing marathons.
Best scenes - Veronica Hart / John Leslie because they’re go great at what they do. There’s not a lot of variety in the scene – she doesn’t even blow him – but they’ve got a chemistry. The Merle Michaels / R. Bolla scene succeeds because she’s so breathlessly enthusiastic. The other scenes are all good too. Just watch the movie. It’s only 85 minutes long!
- 03 Jun 2013
- Exxxotica Florida 2013
Posted by morbidthoughts
Went to the first Exxxotica Ft. Lauderdale after it had moved from nearby Miami. Did it as a spur of the moment thing only telling my closest colleagues of pending plans. Okay, twittering them is still somewhat public. As for the show, the weekend was overtaken by storms and the dreary weather probably tempered attendance. Yet I didn’t see much difference between attendance compared to when the show was in Miami.
Click on Remy for the photos
- I was delighted to see Remy Lecroix and she is the main reason for my spur of the moment decision to go.
- Her booth, Bangbros, was easily the most popular of the convention. Ron Jeremy was the most popular porn star as people lined up to see him. He looked much frailer than in recent years but that is understandable considering his recent heart issues.
- Jynx Maze and Veronica Rodriguez looked amazing
- Had fun with Andy San Dimas and Amy Brooke at their party but these Florida dance clubs have to turn the volume down.
- Meeting Farrah Abraham of MTV’s Teen Mom was somewhat surreal. When I asked to take her photo, she had to get her manager’s clearance since I was media. Except the manager was not around, so I only got random candid shots of her. Other girls signing around her commented she was standoffish towards them. I’ve never watched either of her MTV shows so I don’t know if that was just her normal personality or she was disgusted by her surroundings.
- Met a new yet familiar webcam model named Bridgette who was one of the most beautiful girls at the show. At first I thought it was because she looked a cross between Jana Jordan and Franziska Facella, but later on I realised she was a popular glamour model that my friends have shot.
- 22 May 2013
- Today on Radio Sex: Candy Stripers (1978)
Posted by IAFD Staff
So we’re back on the radio again around 2:40 Eastern after a week off – Radio Sex is now Sirius XM 102 - – and we’ll be talking about Bob Chinn‘s 1978 classic, Candy Stripers.
This movie is notorious for having two fisting scenes in it, and one of the scenes is actually a double-fisting. The uncut version of the movie hasn’t been released on DVD or VOD for fear of prosecution over the fisting, but you can find the uncut movie online (cough, xhamster, cough). HOWEVER, the fisting scenes are hidden on the DVD (copped from Greybeard’s review of the film over at Adult DVD Talk):
Now to the Easter Egg stuff. … Here’s how to get to the scenes: After the Arrow Trailers, the following message is shown: “Easter Egg! To find the deleted scenes, start at the Main Menu, and from ‘Play Movie’, click a combination of four arrow buttons to access this Easter Egg.” … the correct combination of buttons once you are highlighted on “Play Movie” is: Right, Down, Right, Left, Enter. You can also simply play Title 2 using your DVD player’s navigation buttons.
The original running time of the film is 84 minutes, but with the cut scenes, we’re down to 73 on the DVD/VOD offerings.
We list 16 scenes, but that’s a bit misleading; many of the scenes are intercut or are very brief.
The movie doesn’t waste any time, starting out with Cris Cassidy (billed here as Montana) and medical intern Joey Silvera banging in her bed; but the coitus is interrupted by a phone call from Cris’ friend — but she asks her friend to hold on a minute so Joey can finish up. The whole scene is about 90 seconds. Cris then finishes talking to her friend, setting up the rest of the movie.
Roll opening credits.
Stock shots of ambulances pulling in to a hospital and Cris getting out and going in to work while a wah-wah laden theme song plays.
The credits tell us we have three Candy Stripers – Cris Cassidy. Amber Hunt and Nancy Hoffman – and they’re there to deliver newspapers and provide comfort to the afflicted. There are also some nurses, Lauren Black and Mimi Morgan watching over the hospital’s patients; and those patients include Paul Thomas, Rock Steadie and Phaedra Grant.
The plot, such as it is, concerns Nancy Hoffman‘s last day as a candy striper and her shenanigans. No one knows where she is, so the head striper, Sarge (Sharon Thorpe), searches and finds her in the linen closet blowing a doctor (Richard Pacheco). It’s a brief blowjob scene with him telling her to not “get any on her uniform!” when he cums on her face. There’s lots of silly puns and musical stingers. Sarge has an Alison Brie vibe going on, and I won’t be complaining about that.
The stripers then head out to see other patients – Amber (in cliche’d 70s rose colored glasses) goes to see Rock whom she has pee in a erlenmeyer flask and then she cleans him off with her mouth. He goes on to tell her how he fantasized about her the night before while he jerked off.
Cut back to the nurses station and Sarge is angry that Nancy has gone missing again, but we know she’s under the nurses station eating out nurse Lauren Black.
Cris goes back to see Phaedra with a delivery of giant bananas. They tease each other about Richard Pacheco‘s desire to get with Phaedra, and Cris leaves, promising to return soon.
Cut back to Rock and Amber in a 69.
Cut back to the Nurses Station where Nancy is now eating out Nurse Mimi Morgan. (It’s a throwaway gag)
Cut back to Rock and Amber where he’s eating her and then he gets her doggie style and works most of his fist into her. She then rolls onto her back where he can really work himself upside her. He doesn’t move a lot when he’s up there, but she bucks her hips like crazy and pulls his wrist deeper into her. It’s a long sequence; almost five minutes.
Then we meet patient Paul Thomas and his guest Eileen Wells. He has her finger herself and let him taste them. Nancy Hoffman walks in on them and is invited into the action.
Sarge busts into Phaedra’s room, interrupting her banana masturbation session, and Cris comes into give her a sponge bath and finds the banana sticking out of her snatch. Phaedra is mortally embarrassed, and Cris lends a loving hand. She teases that Phaedra would live Dr. Hart to be there, but Dr. Hart can’t do this — as she rotates the banana all the way around and then Cris goes down on her.
Back to PT, Eileen and Nancy and Nancy is eating out Eileen (this girl eats a ton of pussy in this movie!) and they strip down, and then Eileen tells Nancy to stick a finger in, then “stick them all in” and we have our second fisting of the movie. Eileen massages herself while Nancy keeps herself steady, gently rocking in rhythem with Eileen’s hips and then thrusting a bit more. PT warns Nancy “Don’t lose your watch!” and then after a few moments, an unexpected turn of events – Nancy slides a second hand into Eileen. (Granted, Nancy was a small girl, but still.) PT gets into the action, leaning out of the bed to suckle on Eileen’s left breast and to massage her clit. They also make out a bit. ancy then is throwing her whole body into the endeavor, smiling like its Christmas morning. Finally its over, and Nancy slips herself out and goes back to eating before a cut where Eileen is in bed with PT while he’s fucking Nancy doggie style. Then he fucks Eileen doggie while Nancy is under them and he cums on Nancy’s face. (She doesn’t do a great job of dodging his balls while he’s banging Eileen – looks like it could have hurt…)
Cut to a really nice overhead shot of Cris and Phaedra in a 69 as they wrap up their lovemaking.
That gets us thru the first seven pairings of the movie, and there’s only a half hour to go…
Amber (in her heart shaped rose glasses) goes home to bang intern Joey, and while she wishes it was a little more romantic, she has no trouble stepping out of her uniform to reveal her naked form. There’s a cute bit of them in bed and she complains about his socks being on…
Cut back to the hospital and everyone is getting ready for Nancy’s going away party. The operating theatre is decked out in streamers and everyone is there – except Amber and Joey who are having their own party - and Sarge. But then, speak of the devil, there’s Sarge! And she’s sad that everyone thinks she’s a prude, so she downs her drink (vodka?) and tells Nancy to “eat [her] out and get the party started!”
Back with Joey and Amber, he makes the confession that he wants to suck her asshole, and she treats it like the most romantic thing ever.
Back at the orgy, we get the rest of our scene pairings out of the way all at once. We find out that Sarge’s name tag is “Virginia O’Neil”
Nancy is literally dripping wet as Sarge eats her out. Everyone gets a little action, and orgy is well covered. Shots linger just long enough to build excitement and you can tell who everyone is. The only newcomer is Don Fernando who is brought in to make the pairings work out, and he and his shaggy hair bang both the nurses, Nurse Lauren Black and then Mimi Morgan in mish and scissor before she jerks him off. (The credits say that David Clark was in the orgy, but I can’t pick him out. Anyone?)
The orgy winds down with PT blowing his load on Eileen’s face and she and Cris clean him off. Meanwhile Richard Pacheco nails his patient Phaedra Grant bring their story to a close as he cums (no hands, John Leslie style) on her belly. Since Don turned his attentions to Mimi, Lauren went over and finished her story off with a Rock Steadie blow job until he came on her face.
Cut back to the apartment, and Joey and Amber are humping away in mish until he cums on her box. (Man, her hip bones are PRONOUNCED.)
Finally, we’re back in the OR and Sarge is laid on the table and all the nurses, patients and remaining candy stripers service her, while Sarge eats Eileen.
Finally, we’re back at the Nurses Station the next day and chesty new Candy Striper, Bron White, is starting her new job. The nurses drool over her large chest and as Bron walks away, she drops a folder and bends over to pick it up, giving us a nice shot of her ass thru her panties which stays on the screen as the credits roll.
For an excellent analysis of this movie and the comedy within, please check out one of my favorite reviews on the movie: We Have No Bananas: Joke Structure in CANDY STRIPERS (1978) over at Exploding Kinetoscope
Bob Chinn is one of my favorite directors of this era (Hot and Saucy Pizza Girls, Let’s Get Physical) and this is one of my favorites of his. It proves you don’t need a real plot – just a scenario to hang things on. ”Three Candy Stripers will do anything to make their patients feel better.” Done. Easy peasy. Everyone at one time or another has had a doctor or nurse fantasy, so we got that going for us here too.
The girls are all uniformly attractive — and hairy, this was the late 70s after all — and seem to enjoy what they’re doing. They’re partners in the proceedings as opposed to so many modern set ups where they are treated like props.
Since I know I’ll be asked, best scenes for me were the Cris Cassidy / Phaedra Grant and the Amber Hunt / Rock Steadie pairings. And for Ginger – 4.5 out of 5 dicks.
- 22 May 2013
- Yahoo takes over the world
Posted by morbidthoughts
So the big tech news this week is that Yahoo acquired Tumblr for a whopping $1.1 billion dollars. That’s Billion by the way, not million. I myself have a tumblr where I post zanier moments that would be censored by my Flickr, which coincidentally is also owned by Yahoo. There are rumours that Tumblr would eventually be censored similar to Flickr, requiring a login to see NSFW stuff, but so far Yahoo has issued denials.
Speaking of Flickr, Yahoo also gave it a makeover the same day it acquired Tumblr. They gave every user 1 terabyte of storage space and redid the interface so that it emphasises the photos more with the side effect of eating more bandwidth. If you want to see an example, you can view my AVN Expo and Awards photos that I posted without a writeup in January.*
Now does the new terabyte mean I will post more photos of the girls from the archives since space is no longer a concern? No, of course not. Space was never really an issue. Rather it was time and the new bandwidth leech interface eats up more time while I try to tag the photos with the names of the performers. No bueno. Oh well, I wanted to vent and highlight photos 4 months late.
*Life had gotten messy for me that month and writing about porn did not seem important in the big scheme of things. I should apologise because these glitches will surely happen again.
- 08 May 2013
- Today on Radio Sex: Blonde Brigade (2000)
Posted by vanzetti
In honor of today’s guest, Jill Kelly, I’ll be on Radio Sex’s YouPorn (Sirius XM 103, 2:40ish Eastern), talking to Christy and Ginger about Jim Holliday‘s movie Blonde Brigade, the fifth installment in the informally known “Jim and Jill” series.
The Jim and Jill movies were vignette style films directed by Holliday, whose scenes were introduced by Jill and Jim who shared an easy going banter and very likable presence. The irony of this title is so many of the women featured in it are not actually blonde, but brunette… no matter, tho; it’s a pretty good collection of scenes no matter the hair color.
Holliday, until his passing in 2004, was one of the leading historians of adult and his out-of-print 1986 book, Only the Best inspired a compilation series of the same name. As Dirty Movie Devotee wrote over at Videotramp:
“Holliday would do several more compilations under the ONLY THE BEST and LEGENDS OF PORN banners for Cal Vista, then got miffed when they used the now copyrighted titles for further tapes for which they did not seek his involvement. He took his act to rival company VCA who enabled him to assemble the ONLY THE VERY BEST (what a difference one word makes !) signature series with extra scenes he got to shoot with contemporary starlets added for bonus enticement. Industry giant VCA, run by the venerable Russ Hampshire, was also the place where Holliday’s directorial talents were nurtured into full bloom. The rest, as they say, is history and now sadly so is he, though he would be the first to appreciate the irony regarding his humble beginnings chronicling the evolution of erotica.”
The movie features music by Reno and the Rumrunners and they score the movie with fun surf music.
They open the movie in front of a green-screened beach with targets on their chests and introduce themselves in a self-deprecating manner, (“I’m Jim Holliday, and I reckon you know who you are…“) with Jill introducing herself as “the vain, narcissistic, egotiscal Jill Kelly.” They state that the show is about feedback, from fans and critics alike. They get right into and introduce us to Tracy Love and Julian who are offering up some “hot buttfucking action.”
And we’re right into a closeup of Tracy inhaling Julian’s member and then riding him cowgirl. He’s wearing a condom and he’s without his tribal sleeve and sporting a goatee. After the cowgirl they move to mish anal which also shows off her clit ring. He’s not stroking particularly deep, and she’s got her hand on his cock and he’s sliding it in. They move to doggie mish and he jerks off all over her face and chest.
Their next intro has the upcoming scene keyed in behind them as Jim waxes eloquent about where the industry is going, and he figured toes and assholes were the next big thing, so in an effort to give the fans what they want, they introduce Bobbi Bliss and Daisy Chain (a blonde in a brunette wig) who then do their own introduction since “J and J aren’t that into it, but we are…” Daisy shows off Bobbi’s foot and begins to worship it. After a spell, Bobbi returns the favor and up until this point, there hasn’t been a lot of “porn” just a lot of foot licking with Daisy rubbing herself a bit… and then, midway through the scene, they introduce special guest Felecia, and Daisy and Bobbi worship her feet. Eventually they move on to a more classic g/g/g scene with a black rubber dong, but the feet are not ignored. If you’re into feet, this is a homerun. If you’re not, you might wonder what all the fuss is about… or maybe it converts you. :-)
“Time to hit the FF!” they say as the next intro starts and Jim talks about going on Jill’s “internet thing” and reading that someone thought he was “the bomb” which made him feel good. They transition into a scene between Jill and her then beau, Julian.
Jill starts out on her back with Julian’s face buried in her quim, and she rather seems to like it. They move to the blowjob and now Julian is on his back, and she’s slobbering (literally) all over his cock, and they move to sidesaddle fucking. (Julian’s rascal is wrapped.) There are lots of full body shots, and olliday and his team know how to show off their performers. Jill rolls over into a reverse cowgirl and Julian’s thrusting becomes more animated. She pivots into a regular cowgirl until Julian jumps out from under her so he can cum on her face. Holliday makes sure that gravity is used to his advantage, and the guys are always above the girls when ejaculating. “Guess I’m not as vain as you thought!” she says with a mess on her face.
Next intro – “the thing I like about Jim Holliday’s movie is he gets girls who likes to fuck.” Jim adds, “Spend money on girls, not on fancy sets.” which sets up a large all-girl orgy. Felecia and Tabitha Stevens (who is so young and cute and giggly here) are the “Girls Who Can’t Cook” and Tabitha surprises Felecia with a “Brown Eye Buffet” made up of April Flowers, Bobbi Bliss, Daisy Chain, Ginger Paige, Jessica Drake, Olivia Parrish and Sydnee Steele. The girls’ asses are all in the air and Felecia makes her way down the line. Some of the girls are clad in body stockings with various patterns. None of the girls interact with each other, they’re just there to get their asses eaten a little bit.
Another intro, another reinforcement that Jim is “all about the fans.” Jim admits that it’s a goof having all the brunettes in a movie called “Blonde Brigade” and keeping with the low cost vibe, the next scene has Dillon Day walking into the Brown Eye Buffet and picking out Sydnee Steele and April Flowers. April is on her back while Sydnee straddles April’s face and Sydnee’s face is buried in Dillon’s crotch. Dillon adds a little digital stimulation to Sydnee’s girl parts. Sydnee and April move into a 69 and so April can blow Dillon, and Dillon manages to get most of Sydnee’s foot in his mouth. Cut to Dillon (condom) fucking April while Sydnee looks on. April is on top of Dillon while Sydnee straddles his face. It’s an interesting position as April gets to bend over and eat Sydnee’s ass. Then it’s Sydnee’s turn doggie style the reverse cowgirl and then Dillon stands over the two girls’ faces and grunts out a load on their cheeks.
Intro: Jim: “Jill – name two significant things that took place on April 12, 1961. Del Shannon’s Runaway entered the charts, and Yuri Gagarin went into space. I wonder how many of those Soviets? Russians? are floating out in space…“ Jill: “I know one — Major Tom!”
Evan Stone then wanders into the Brown Eye Buffet and takes Bobbi Bliss and (his then girlfriend) Jessica Drake into a bedroom set. They’re upset he took them out of a “butt tasting experience” but he tells them his minor in college was butt-tasting, and he, er, cracks the books… the girls get him on the bed and put their feet all over him and he exclaims that he’s heard “of this place called ‘Footsuckers Heaven’ and that they give great blowjobs there.” So capital letter Jessica Drake (she wasn’t all e.e. cummings yet) starts on him, but it quickly outshone by Bobbi’s impressive, effortless DT skills as she swallows Evan to the root. Everyone gets fucked (with a condom) and everyone cums, with Evan cumming last on their faces. (Not the greatest pop he ever did.) But the biggest sin is he says “Kiss each other” and they turn to one another, tongues out, and they CUT AWAY! GAAAH!
In this intro, Jim cops to pissing in the Pacific Ocean and Jill cops to watering Lake Havasu and we end up with Ginger Paige and Ian Daniels starting out with Ian worshiping her feet
They fuck missionary (condom) and she keeps her corset on the whole time… however, it like less of a porn fuck than just two people going at it. She then rides him cowgirl, they go to doggie (sans corset) and he cums on her butt.
Last intro an “We make movies that a guy and girl can jerk off to… If you want short, economical scenes that you can wait a whole week one scene a night to get yourself off — here’s your place.” And they intro the last scene between (not yet enhanced) Allysin Chaynes and Jill Kelly. They use a lot of toys, including a thin dildo that slips on the end of Jill’s finger to slide in Allysin’s ass. There’s only a little bit of kissing.
End credits which include the title card:
“As yet, Harry Houdini hasn’t made it back… neither has General Alfredo Stoessner… but rainwater lives on… think about it!”
This is perfectly acceptable trifle of a movie. Jim and Jill are perfectly affable and genial hosts. If you’re a foot person, this movie is totally aimed your way. If you’re not, you might be hitting the FF button here and there.
Best scenes are #s 3 (Jill/Julian), #5 (Sydnee/April/Dillon) and #6 (Bobbi/Jessica/Evan). Honorable mention to Scene 7, Ginger and Ian.
- 26 Apr 2013
- XRCO Award Winners 2013
Posted by vanzetti
The XRCO Awards were held April 25, 2013 at Supperclub in Hollywood. The show was hosted by Misty Stone and Ed Powers, with an assist from Heart-On (trophy) girls Maddy O’Reilly and Lilly Evans.
Winners are at the top of the lists in bold.
Best 3D Release
Best Director: Features
Best Director: Non-Features
Best Director: Parody
Best Gonzo Movie
Best Parody: Comedy
Best Parody: Comic Book
Best Parody: Drama
Cream Dream of the Year
Female Performer of the Year
Hall of Fame
Mainstream Adult Media Favorite
Male Performer of the Year
MILF Performer of the Year
New Starlet of the Year
New Stud of the Year
Orgasmic Analist of the Year
Orgasmic Oralist of the Year
Superslut of the Year
Unsung Siren of the Year
Unsung Swordsman of the Year
- 24 Apr 2013
- Tonight on Playboy Radio: Black Throat (1985)
Posted by vanzetti
[UPDATE: 24 Apr 2013 - Going to talk about this movie with Christy and Ginger on Radio Sex's YouPorn (SiriusXM 103) today around 2:40 Eastern. Article originally published on Jan 26, 2012]
We’re on Night Calls tonight, ONE HOUR EARLIER than usual because I am otherwise engaged at our normal time, so listen in at 6:40 pm Eastern / 3:40 pm Pacific.
We’ll be talking about the Dark Brothers’ 1985 movie, Black Throat. There are two versions in the IAFD, one that lists Traci Lords and one that doesn’t.
The story, such as it is, concerns Roscoe (Tony Martino) and his rubber rat friend Mr. Bob (voiced by Johnny Jump-Up, aka Antonio Passolini) and their quest to find Madame Mambo’s House of Fella-tee-o, with the help of a pimp named Jamal (Jack Baker).
Here’s the first five minutes of the movie, which sets the tone and really underlines the low-rent nature and crazy style of the vid.
Two scenes in the movie are absolutely top notch — one stars Erica Boyer in a blistering B/B/G and the other is Christy Canyon and Peter North. They’re worth the price of admission alone. In a review I wrote back in the 90s, I said:
Erica Boyer is looking her punkish best. She’s well toned, bush is a little trimmed back, and she’s laying on a couch covered in black garbage bag plastic in a room that is walled in with the same plastic.
She masturbates slowly, playing with her pussy and asshole, working a finger or two into each now and then. Then Steve Powers shows up and she starts chomping his choad. He shoves her sunglasses into her snatch and starts pouting champange all over her.
Enter Marc Wallice who covers her in corn oil (I don’t think sunflower oil was all the rage until the later 80s/early 90s :-) )
She gets flipped onto her stomach and Marc then works some fingers into her ass, and follows that with his banana dick. He fucks her ass with reckless abandon. Then Steve Powers enters her pussy (as some creme oozes from her ass). She is toally slicked up from shoulders to toes. Marc spanks her. “My asshole wants you!” she screams to Marc who obliges for a DP. What makes this DP something to see is both guys are pretty active, and she rides it out like a true slut; unlike most DPs in recent memories where one guy sits still while the other guy does all the work. Erica gets into this scene very much, screaming and yelling in rapturous delight, which we share in. Marc cums on her ass, and Steve cums on himself more or less.
If you don’t pop a chubby watching this scene, then check your pulse, you may be dead.
And then a sentence that really sums up the Dark Brothers’ aesthetic:
Mr. Bob talks to Erica’s asshole which quacks like a duck and they continue their quest for Madame Mambo.
About the Christy Canyon scene, I wrote:
In this scene, [Christy] dominates Peter North, who is chained to a table wearing a collar like they put on dogs to keep them from biting at their wounds. She is wearing studded gloves and a bustier number. Her eye makeup is 80s “punk” and she sucks cock like no one else.
She teases Peter, hitting him about the face and head with her tits (when they were quite a bit firmer, but just as ripe). “What, you afraid of big tits! Suck ‘em! You’re such a baby!” she yells at Peter. “Probably reminds you of when you were a little boy — sucking on mommmy’s tits, before you went to your room…” She removes the collar and really starts to beat him up with those wonderful breasts.
She plays with her cat o’ nine tails rubbing them over her tits and her pussy. Then there is an abrupt cut (was something snipped here?) and she’s riding him reverse cowgirl; arguably looking better than she ever has before. She engages in some dirty talk. She takes an active role and grunts and groans. They move into the patented Peter North Spoon, giving us a great view of Christy’s meaty lips wrapping around Peter’s peter.
They go around to a doggie position for a while, and then to a missionary where Peter launches a load that hits her in the forehead, then covers her tits and belly with his jizz. And then she goes in and orally cleans him up afterwards.
If you haven’t got a boner by this point, turn the movie off, there’s no hope.
Like all 80s Dark Brothers’ flicks, the theme song (also contributed by Johnny Jump-Up / Passolini) is top notch and one that I can still sing it today. It name checks their recent movies before leading into its chorus: “Now you know New Wave Hookers, and Let Me Tell Ya Bout White Chicks, but now you’ll see some black chicks, sucking on some white dicks! BLACK THROAT!”
- 24 Apr 2013
- Fanny Award Winners Announced
Posted by vanzetti
The winners of The Fannys, the Exxxotica Fan Choice Awards, were announced on Saturday, April 20th as part of the Exxotica: Atlantic City show. The award ceremony was held in the Grand Ballroom of the Trump Taj Mahal, and it was hosted by Alexis Texas and comedians Don Jamieson and Jim Florentine.
Winners are listed in bold at the top of the lists.
Whole Lotta Love (BBW Performer of the Year)
Director of the Year
Non-White Chick of the Year (Ethnic Performer of the Year)
Most Valuable Vagina (Female Performer of the Year)
Cocksman of the Year (Male Performer of the Year)
Who’s Your Mommy? (MILF Performer of the Year)
Most Heroic Ass (Best Anal)
The Who? (Most Underrated Star)
Movie of the Year
New Girl on the Block (New Starlet of the Year)
Thirsty Girl (Best Oral)
T.S. I (Heart) You (Transsexual Performer of the Year)
Cyber Hustla (Webcam Girl of the Year)
- 17 Apr 2013
- Today on Radio Sex: Jack in the Ass (2007)
Posted by vanzetti
Today at 2:40ish on Radio Sex XM103 YouPorn I’ll be talking with Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon about Jack Napier‘s 2007 awkwardly-titled gonzo movie, Jack In The Ass.
Jack Napier is their guest on Legend’s Day today, so I asked the Twitterverse if anyone knew if Jack was ever deep throated (Jack’s cock is monstrously huge, if you’re unfamiliar) and the word came back - Annette Schwarz is the only person to have done the deed.
So, I had to see it for myself. The definition of deep throat is a bit nebulous at times, but GODDAMN! she takes him balls deep. It’s a struggle, but she does it. Amazing. But that’s at the end of the movie,and there’s 4 scenes to quickly recap before that.
Since this is gonzo, there’s no story to recap — just a variety of girls having anal sex with Jack. Your enjoyment of the scenes will likely depend on how you feel about the girls.
I should also note that Jack seems like one of the nicest guys in the world. He’s always smiling, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him be “mean” or domineering; he’s there to have a good time and make sure his partner(s) does too.
First up is Sandra Romain, who was one of the reigning anal queens and she has with her Maya Gates, who is almost like her Romanian Mini-Me. They start things out with some g/g warmup while Jack is being interviewed. The interviewer mentions that Maya has decided to give up the ass — she and Jack worked together earlier in Ridin’ Dirty 2 – and there’s no better teacher than Sandra. The girls go off in search of Jack, with a red double-dong in tow; they find him in a bedroom and immediately go to town orally sharing his cock. There’s an overabundance of porn-moaning, which I personally find distracting and fake, but someone must find it effective for it to last so long… (Seriously, Maya is just sitting there, there’s no reason for her to be all moan-y.) Sandra attempts to deep throat Jack, but she keeps one hand gripped around his base to make it look deeper than it really was. Jack then goes right for the ass and bangs her energetically; her matching his thrusts, and then he takes on Maya who seems a bit more reserved now that she has a small log rammed up her pooper. The scene ends with Jack on his back coaxing a tiny load out which the girls then share and swap.
Next, Dana DeArmond looks awesome in fishnets and she’s super cute. She seems unsure about how the scene is going to go, and she sums up the scene as a circus trick, to see how big a cock she can shove up her ass. (Fingers crossed!) “His cock is like bigger than your head! It’s like a big mouth bass! You can mount it! I’m going to catch it and I’m going to mount it!” So Jack’s interview is intercut with Dana’s and he’s all excited and smiley about having her (“courtesy of my friend Mark” – Spiegler shout out!) since he wants to be her friend. (Who doesn’t?) When asked if Jack will go balls deep in her pussy, she says “Fuck that! My pussy is fucking worthless. My cervix is like “No way. You’re not getting in” It’s like a bouncer with the velvet rope – you’re not getting in.”
“You know long I’ve been waiting for this?” he asks as she’s got his cock in her mouth, “Since you had only 400 friends… I think you’re cheating on the internet, since you’re the internet’s girlfriend…”
“You’re my internet friend, she says, so it’s OK.”
And then they giggle about being in each other’s MySpace Top 8 (remember that?!?)
She lays his cock against her elbow, and it stretches down to the wrist.
He then fucks her and the camera guy mentioned “breaking down the bouncer” and you can tell she’s a bit overwhelmed by the size. (“That’s a fucking lot of cock!”) They move into missionary doggie, and she’s not convinced it’s going to work, and she lets out little squeals and she focuses on letting it happen (“I feel like I’m dying…”) as Jack works himself in pretty much balls deep. She warms up to it and they work their way thru a bunch of positions until he cums in her ass, which is made a little weird by Jack screaming the death screams of his unborn sperms. But it’s this oddball behavior that makes Jack such an appealing performer.
Scene 3 is the Ninety Nine, who is looking forward to fucking Jack since the last time they worked together it was a POV scene and he was too pre-occupied with the camera to fuck her properly. So he comes in the room, cock out and hard, and just plunges it into her. She lets out a helluva scream and they go at it. They’ve got a good vibe, and he jokes with her “How’s your ass?” and he picks her up and she throws herself down on his rod. What she might lack in the looks depertment, she more than makes up in attitude. As we always used to say, “personality goes a long way!” She challenges him to fuck her.. but I guess this is to be expected from someone who has Jack’s name tattooed on her wrist. This scene is energetic AS HELL until by end end she’s just blissed out as he’s fucking her and he’s cums inside her pussy after which she lets out the greatest little sigh.
Scene 4 has the awesomely natural Audrey Elson. Her tits are great; they look great in their bra; they look great out of the bra. He fucks her a bunch of ways and then asks her if she’s ready for the ass, and she settles down. She says she is and then they go at it, and she takes it like a champ. The scene ends with her swallowing his facial.
Last up, Annette Schwarz. She’s a sexual athlete of the highest order and this is her long jump event. She takes Jack every which way with a spirited ease of someone who has trained her whole life. She swallows his cock with some effort, but she gets it down. She ends up with the thick spit drooling out of her mouth when he pulls out, but she doesn’t need to resort to quacking to make it effective. She takes it down, and apparently can’t keep her teeth out of the way since Jack says he’s willing to put up with some pain in exchange for a deep throating; something he’s never had before, professionally or personally.
They bang each other with abandon, maintaining a lot of eye contact. He ends up jerking a load on her tongue which she wraps up with one last deep throat before swallowing.
SCENES TO WATCH IN ORDER OF MY PREFERENCE: Annette Schwarz, Ninety Nine, tie between Dana DeArmond & Audrey Elson and then Sandra Romain/Maya Gates.
NOTE TO VOD RENTERS: Aline is in the opening credits, but technically her scene was a DVD Bonus, so it doesn’t seem to have made the VOD rips.